Wow. This is a difficult one.
I thought my life was all set. Boyfriend, flat, little family sitch going on. And boom I’ve left it all.
You know how you look back and things are completely different to how they seemed at the time? And all those instances didn’t seem like much on their own. I suppose it seemed reasonable that I should stop going out for dinner with male friends and maybe it was a bit rude to sit texting my friends while we were together.
It’s when your friends start pointing out that it’s “really unlike you” that you realise something’s not right. Giving in. I’ve never done that. Staying in on a Saturday night. Nope, never done that either.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my baking and my sewing but I’m very much a party girl at heart. On those odd occasions where I did get out, it was on a promise that I wouldn’t speak to any men. Or drink. And that I would be in constant contact. Which socially is a bit of a challenge.
It was desperately upsetting to all but abandon my wing woman. To tell her that there was no way it could go on holiday or to a festival with her this year. Amazing considering I’ve been known to mouth off about how a man would never stop me from going to Ibiza! I’m so lucky that she never just left me to it, she always fought to get me back.
At the time I thought I was doing it for love but now I know it was for a quiet life; because I can’t deal with confrontation. On a Saturday morning I knew I was going to walk out. I hurts more than anything to see the person you love break down and cry. But if they loved you back they wouldn’t have broken you down first.